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Several pieces of news had caught my eye recently....here were some that made my day........

Was channel surfing late 1 night...stumbled upon TVBS...cable channel 54.......it was a political talkshow. The huge uproar in Taiwan now is the visit to China by politician opposition James Soong. I shldn bore you with the "political implications". Any smart aleck who claims to be a "political analyst" wld have made his views heard by now.

Here's the funny bit. Middle aged greying and balding geezers squabble like aunties in the market over who gets the last piece of fish. Heavily Taiwanese accented Mandarin occassionally mixed with Hokkien...it sure was hell of an entertaining sight, coupled with the vigourious finger pointing of who should bear the responsibility for the mass brawl at the airport. 

What followed up was the video footage. It was simply hilarious. Riot police was deployed to break up the brawl. In the backgrd....several "missiles" were seen flying ard. Eggs, flagpoles, signage....Then came this clip worthy of an Oscar for best picture.......this uncle lying face down motionless in a pool of blood surrounded by ppl.....no1 applied 1st aid on him....why? becoz they were reporters bz snapping away!!! I laughed!!! i did....uncle muz be feeling like a superstar...so many flashes upon him....waahahaha

then came another clip on the scuffles betw the mob n the police. In the midst of the scuffle, a policeman was robbed of his shield when he lost grip on it....wat a LOSER....wahahaha...other footage of aunties n ladies being beaten up.....uncles screaming "stop" (in Hokkien of coz) after being pushed to the ground......it was sure damn funny!!!!!! 

I LUV TAIWAN!!!

Another article that caught my eye was from an eveing tabloid. Im an exceptional sucker for them, though they report news tat aint newsworthy....they sure keep me entertained in times of turmoil like now......

Young couple making out in broad daylight at a park in Pasir Ris. Within 100 metres were aunties n uncles gg thru their taiji..n a few takin morning strolls. Gal was in sch uniform, hormones raged shy high...and..........Down went the guy's pants n down went the gal!!!!! Teenages damn daring these days! plain stupidity or simply an act of foolhardiness? u decide.

Yesterday's news.... caught it on tv...

SMRT applied for price hike. Being typical Sporeans...they whine n sigh abt raising living costs....poor economy.....jobless..........bad time 4 hike now....then came a few "socially desirable" stances....its ok to raise prices....operating expenses raising..valid for hike.....ok if its a few cents...ard 1 to 2 cents its fine........

then came this airhead......teenage guy..........let me quote him "i tink its ok if they keep it betw 10 to 20 cents" WAAAH LAN EH!!! XIAO AHHHH!! 10 to 20 cents?!?!? this fucker here obv is a spoilt brat who gets chauffered ard in daddy's benz la.....or haf no economic sense.....or maybe the son of SMRT's CEO?

This bugger reminded me of another airhead when asked to comment on UNSW having a campus here in 2007...the airhead was female (tat explains y..oops...wahaha) "I think i will still prefer the local unis....Im not too sure abt UNSW as it is a bit of an unknown name"

See....some ppl r comedians by nature...they are juz waiting for their big break............

Song list of an impotent man intending to take the blue pill..........

At the dispensary..................

He ain't heavy, he's my brother by The Lollies ==> Pharmacist said so.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own by U2 ==> function of the pill

Longer by Dan Fogelberg ==> Hopefully...(fingers crossed)

Strong enough by Cher ==> Assured by the pharmacist.

Ain't no mountain high enough by Diana Ross ==> Parting shot from pharmacist before man leaves dispensary

After taking the pill..........

You should be dancing by the Bee Gees ==> Waiting for it to take effect

You raise me up by Josh Groban ==> Feeling effects of the pill

Heaven by Bryan Adams ==> Job well done.

The drugs won't work by The Verve ==>Tough luck mate.  Accidents do happen.

9 wonders of the LOO........

At No.9 - there are some toilets that u usually go to....be it in school...in the office..or yr neighbourhood shopping mall. u notice this particular cubicle tats perpetually in use. you wonder if a) auntie keeps her store in it and locks it for fear of losing them. b) some1 died in there once. c) you're juz damn fucking lucky to find that cubicle in use each time u visit the loo.

No.8 - you're having the shit of yr life. you see shadows, u look up and u see ntg. You wonder if a) the toilet is haunted. b) some1's peeping at u. c)the resident prankster in sch/office is taking a video clip of u shitting and will soon be circulating it on the net.

No.7 - Shit level is high up to yr throat. The frantic search for the loo ends when you are directed to the loo by the directional signs/security guard/info counter. You give the door a hard push and rush into the nearest cubicle. While unloading, u hear laughter of the opp sex. You wonder if you're in the right toilet. (come on..some toilets are built extremely close together. female laughter can be deafening at times)

No.6 - The person in the cubicle beside you lets out the occassional "try so hard to keep the volume down" moan or a long deep breath. You wonder if he's a) having constipation b) trying to squeeze out that troublesome piece stuck halfway c) masturbating (some ppl can be tat sick....tats y wanking is a chargeable offence in the saf)

No.5 - Still on sick ppl....u r having a pee. the toilet has 10 urinals and you happen to occupy the most extreme urinal by the wall. the toilet is empty. another guy comes in and he takes the urinal right next to you...so close to u tat u can actually hear his piss when he pees. You wonder if a) he's afraid of peeing alone. b) he's a fucking gay! now fuck off u sicko!

No.4 - there are 2 basins and the toilet is pretty crowded. some idiot juz have to choose at that time to haf a "gromming" session. after washing his face, he proceeds to wash his hands, combs his hair, tuck his shirt and adjusts his belt buckle. u wonder if a) he's gonna meet his date b) job interview c) he's juz a bloody inconsiderate piece of crap who's simply oblivious to the queue behind him.

No.3 - u see dirt/ shoe marks on the toilet bowl. you wonder if a) some1 juz stepped on the bowl to peep at the person in the next cubicle b) the person before was so afraid of getting infection tat he actually squatted on the bowl to shit.

No.2 -  the person at the next basin rinses his mouth. he spits out the water and proceeds to clear his throat. u feel some small particle hit u after he spits out the water. u look at his remains eg yellow greenish phlegm (while grossing out at the same time) you wonder if a) did his spit hit u. b) if he did...oh gawd...did he juz fucking infected me wif some STD or fatal virus?!?!?!??

 And now presenting my all time wonder of the loo..........

you often see scribblings on the cubicle wall...

"for gd fuck call lucy 9XXXXXXX" (gdness..orbit name...who call themselves lucy these days?!!

"im an idian guy who loves anal...call me @ 9XXXXXXX" (y muz u state yr race?)

"ABC sec...Jasime..very chio...call XXX for free fuck" (always neighbourhood sch...y no RGS?)

"ABC of XYZ SEC juz lost her virginity" (again...always neighbourhood sch..lesser homework..more time for leisure?)

"for guys only...page timothy 9XXXXXXX for gd service." (wah lau..still carry pager?!?!?)

n of coz there are more......

My wonder always.....

ARE THEY FOR REAL?!?!??!?

I try to structure my ans to fit the question, but I couldnt.

I try to structure my notes in a way that can answer the question, but it doesnt.

I try to complie my notes to bring out the crux of the topic, but I clouldnt.

I try to make my brain to take in as much as I can, but it couldnt.

I try to acheive as much as I could in the shortest period of time, but I couldnt.

I try to focus for as long as I can, but I couldnt.................

Nope, this aint your typical "oh Im so fucking depressed cos Im mugging" post.

Nor is it the "oh bloody shit... its the end of the world" post.

Or a post that conveys the turmoil and emotional roller coaster ride that some goes through whenever its the exam period.

Funny how some ppl seem to get their lives rock bottom whenever its the exam period. Their lives go haywire, pessimism seems to be the only emotion that they can come to grips with.

This post juz merely reflects the harsh reality of life.....MY life.

Ironically, I was feeling extremely chirpy this morning. The morning downpour meant ppl were late for school and that made the library an extra nice place to be in. Was so geared up for revision this morning, but sad to say, it wasnt that productive as I hoped it to be.

but heck...whatever will be will be............